Having a baby is one of the most exciting times of your life. It is also one of the most stressful. So many decisions have to be made about nearly every aspect of your baby’s comfort, safety, and happiness. You spend hours pouring over pregnancy and child rearing books, picking out the perfect crib, finding the most adorable and comfortable clothing, and envisioning the safest and most peaceful birth for your baby as possible. No doubt somewhere in your planning you have thought about how many diapers you will need for your new little one and perhaps you have even purchased some in advance. If you are like the majority of parents out there, then you have automatically decided upon disposable diapers without ever giving it a second thought. Stop right there! There is an alternative; consider using cloth diapers.
Cloth diapering today is not what it used to be. When many parents think of cloth diapers they think of flat diapers that need to be folded in several, origami-like folds and fastened with diaper pins before they are covered with plastic pull on pants. Generally they also think that the clean-up involved with using cloth diapers would be tedious and messy. Cloth diapers have been stereotyped and it seems as though many parents have missed the total evolution of the cloth diaper that has occurred over the past decade or so. I know, because I was one of them.
My own personal decision to use cloth actually came with my second child. With my first child I used disposable diapers, as most do, and thought nothing of it. When I became pregnant a second time I joined a pregnancy discussion group online and in one particular discussion I saw a signature line that contained a link to a work at home mother that sold handcrafted cloth diapers. It was an “Ahaaa” moment for me. I had no idea how far cloth diapers had come. I had dismissed all previous thoughts about using cloth diapers with an exaggerated “Ewwww!” I didn’t want to clean messy diapers and I didn’t want to stick my baby with safety pins. But these diapers were fitted, they had Velcro-like closures, and they were CUTE. I search far and wide for adorable clothing for my babies so how could I resist adorable diapers?
New choices in materials and high tech fabrics are causing an increasing number of parents to reconsider whether disposable diapers are the best choice. We have options now that provide us with cloth diapers that are elasticized so that they are fitted and snug, waterproof many instances, and manageable with Velcro-like closures or snaps, making them just as easy and convenient to use as disposables. It is not just their functionality and convenience that has been affected by this evolution either. Cloth diapers available today are infinitely more attractive. They are available in a variety of different colors, prints, and textures. Cloth diapers made from silk and cashmere are not uncommon. This is a big selling point for many parents because there is nothing cute about a disposable diaper. Quite simply, cloth diapers are convenient, cost effective, healthier for our children, and better for the environment. I feel as though the real question parents should be asking themselves is why use disposables?
As a general rule, it is almost always cheaper to reuse than to buy new every time. This is no different with cloth diapers. Most parents go through 6 to 8 thousand diapers per child, from birth to about age three. If we take an average of what those diapers cost, that equates to between 2000 and 3000 dollars per baby. Once those children are potty trained those diapers are gone. They can’t be re-used. So a significant chunk of our hard earned money has gone to buying, what is essentially, garbage. In comparison, enough cloth diapers to last for three years will usually cost between 3 to 8 hundred dollars. At minimum that is about a 1200 dollar savings. But wait, consider too, that those cloth diapers may last for one or more successive children and your savings doubles and even triples.
What should also be of serious concern to all parents are the toxic chemicals present in disposable diapers. Dioxin, which in various forms has been shown to cause cancer, birth defects, liver damage, skin diseases, and genetic damage, is a by-product of the paper-bleaching process used in manufacturing disposable diapers, and trace quantities may exist in the diapers themselves. Dioxin is listed by the EPA as the most toxic of cancer related chemicals. Disposable diapers also contain sodium polyacrylate. If you have ever seen the gel-like, super absorbent crystals in a disposable diaper then you have seen this substance first hand. Sodium polyacrylate is the same substance that was removed from tampons because of its link to toxic shock syndrome. No studies have been done on the long-term effects of this chemical being in contact with a baby’s reproductive organs 24 hours a day for upwards of two years. Cloth diapers, on the other hand, are free of the many chemicals contained in disposable diapers.
Then there are the environmental reasons for using cloth. According to the Sustainability Institute eighty percent of the diaperings in this nation are done with disposables. That comes to 18 BILLION diapers a year, just in the US. They require thousands of tons of plastic and hundreds of thousands of trees to manufacture. After a few hours of active service these materials are trucked away, primarily to landfills, where they sit, entombed or mummified, undegraded for several hundred years. The idea of a “disposable” diaper is a myth. The ramifications of that myth will stay with us for centuries to come. They are the 3rd largest single product in the waste stream behind newspapers and beverage containers. The urine and feces in disposable diapers enter landfills untreated, possibly contaminating the ground water supply.
When you consider the unnecessary depletion of our valuable forests, the huge volume of garbage created, the toxic air and water pollution and the potential health risks to children, it is very difficult to comprehend how washing and reusing cloth diapers could ever be considered an inconvenience. No, they are a rewarding investment all around; a financial investment, an investment in our children’s health, and an investment in our planet.
Tiffany Washko is president of Jelly Bean Diapers a cloth diaper manufacturing company. She also owns and maintains two other web sites, Diaper Jungle, http://www.diaperjungle.com and Nature Moms, http://www.naturemoms.com
After working several years in corporate healthcare marketing and public relations, she took time away to be a mother. This new pursuit lead her to a new passion, helping new moms make the decision to return to the basics and use cloth diapers.
On Mother’s Day, we celebrate the most important job on the planet.
Most moms appreciate being acknowledged, but many still feel overwhelmed by the pressures of daily life. They would like to fit more time with their children into their busy schedules, but don’t know how.
The solution may be easier than you imagine.
The most important thing you can do for your child is to create and nurture a strong, loving relationship between the two of you.
Here are 17 easy ways to strengthen your connection with your child:
The good news is: they don’t take much time.
- Always smile when your child comes in the room.
- Hug at least once a day. For older children and teens, who may be embarrassed, do it in private. Try telling them YOU are the one who needs it.
- Schedule time every day to connect with your child - to talk about how their day went or perhaps read together or play a short game of his or her choice. Regularity is more important than length of time.
- Include your children in your daily activities: Let them help in the kitchen or the garden, but keep the atmosphere light and the conversation easy - no scolding or criticizing.
- Make up poems or stories together - taking turns adding a line. Laughs are guaranteed.
- Use words of encouragement rather than criticism.
- If your child needs correcting, do it gently, in a way that teaches, without scolding or put-downs.
- Ask your children’s opinions often - about little things and also more important issues. Let them know you value their ideas.
- Watch TV programs together that will help your children to learn about life, then ask their opinion and talk about the issues from the show.
- Speak to them with courtesy: Say “Please” and “Thank you,” and use kind words.
- Apologize when you have been wrong. Show them we all make mistakes.
- Write a note to let them know you’re thinking about them - perhaps with a joke or funny message - and hide it in their lunch box, book bag or a dresser drawer.
- Don’t expect them to be perfect.
- Forgive easily - then gently help them learn from their mistakes.
- Let your children over-hear you praising them to someone else.
- Create a bed-time ritual. It may include reading a story or poem, saying a prayer, remembering loved ones, talking about the day, singing a song, making funny faces or anything that helps you end the day in a positive way.
- As you are falling asleep, think of something you appreciate about your child. Feel your love, and send some of it silently to your child.
Sweet dreams.
For a free e-book, “How to Get the Best from Your Children,” and for more information on how to create harmonious relationships with your children, you may go to: www.feelgoodparenting.com.
Pat and Larry Downing of Asheville, NC, have many years of experience counseling teenagers and their parents, conducting family mediations and leading workshops and support groups. They are co-authors of the e-Book, “Feel Good Parenting: How to Use the Power of Your Heart to Create an Extraordinary Relationship with Your Child.”
Copyright © 2005 by Patricia Downing
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on websites, provided you include ALL the above information about the authors, as it appears, including copyright information and live website link.
With the release of the new movie, the popularity of Superman is growing. I don’t think he ever went away, but it’s now becoming easier to find superman items in the store. This should make your job of finding birthday party supplies extremely easy.
As mentioned above, finding supplies featuring Superman shouldn’t be difficult. Use the following mostly as a checklist for your little guy’s next birthday party.
- Cake
Most cake decorators will have several different Superman layouts. If you are making your own, you should be able to easily find a small toy to place on top.
- Ice Cream
A simple item which needs little additional information. Regular ice cream should work for a Superman party.
- Plastic Forks and Spoons
Superman’s colors are red and blue, so purchase these colors if possible. If you already have some left over from last year, this will work too. Keep in mind red is also the color of Spiderman!
- Plates and Napkins
These should feature Superman if possible, but go with red and blue if you must.
- Decorations
Streamers and balloons should be in red and blue only, or Superman specific if possible.
- Invitations
These MUST feature Superman if you are planning a Superman theme. If you can’t find any, let your son make his own. Save one invitation for your scrapbook to remember the special day!
Don’t forget to get your little superhero involved in the party. After all, it’s HIS special day!
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About the Author: Kara Kelso is the mother of two, and owner of http://www.Idea-Queen.com. For more birthday party theme ideas, visit: |
April officially marks the beginning of a new season - spring. It can also mark the beginning of a new season in our lives. For those of us with older children, we may be preparing to send our child off to college for the first time.
I am remembering my own experience of three years ago when my daughter graduated from high school and was looking forward to leaving for her freshman year in college. She was full of excitement and anticipation for what lay ahead in her life. Off to a new school, a new found independence and a season to test her wings. My feelings were more mixed.
I began to feel my season change the day I ironed her graduation gown, long before she actually left. I had a little movie running through my head of the baby that loved to run naked outside. The beautiful child whose smile revealed a gap where two front teeth used to, a sea of naked Barbie’s, a young girl struggling to fit in a new high school, pajama parties that left popcorn and nail polish on my carpet, the captain of the cheerleading squad, the award young woman in her first long gown. So many pictures of so many seasons; I felt I was losing the job I most loved and losing my child to a world I wouldn’t share.
When the leaving time came, standing beside her little car so packed full of stuff she would never use, I found myself saying things like, “Don’t take candy from strangers”.
“Be sure to eat your vegetables.” “Zip up your coat.” And most important “Call Me.” My mind kept going over all the things I had taught her. Was it enough? Did I cover everything? At the last moment I went back to my Native roots and blurted out something my mother had told me in my leaving season. “The strength and wisdom of all the grandmothers that came before you runs in your blood, now go out and grab your life.” I kissed her goodbye and watched her taillights disappear down the driveway and then she was gone.
And did I miss her! Sara chose a college, with my blessings, that was too far away for weekend visits (What was I thinking?) I longed for her to come home and mess up the house. My home was strangely silent and echoed the sounds of giggling girlfriends and loud music. What would I do now? Where would I go from here? I had planned for this time, guided and nurtured my daughter for the leaving season, but had I nurtured myself for its coming? Yes and no. The big overall picture was there, but the detail of it could only be imagined. Like any other season, I had to grieve its passing and welcome a new one. I had to change my perspective and reframe my outlook on life.
What came from this ending was the beginning of a brand new chapter in my life. I got to discover whether I really liked green beans of if I had been eating them all these years because the kids like them. I rediscovered a side of myself I had put on hold to raise children. I redefined the intent with which I would continue to live my life and it gave me the freedom to fill my life with new meaning. Instead of concentration on my loss, I concentrated on what I found: an older, much wiser woman with gifts to bring to the table and newfound time and energy to do it with.
A couple of months later, I got the call from my daughter. (You will too, so heads up!) Tearful and unsure it went like this, “I hate it here, I have no friends, school is too hard and confusing and I want to come home.” As I coached her and calmed her I realized I was still her mom and always would be. She would always need me, I had lost nothing. My parenting had just evolved to a new level. My seasons and hers would always be tied together. I had not lost my child: I had gained a woman with whom I could cultivate a whole new relationship. She would always need me to guide her path and share her life.
If you have children beginning a new season, take heart. There is a closing of an old chapter, but a glorious new chapter yet to write. Be interested and interesting. Your children will always be yours. Now is the time for you to blossom and bring your other gifts back into the light. Perspective is yours to shift and choose. Life happens: things change. Choose a perspective that honors you and models for your children what a complete person does when seasons change. They are, at the end of the day, they still look to you.
Jeanne Webster,CPC is a professional life coach that works with teens, parent/teen relationships and young adult issues. She is a speaker, columnist and author of the two time national award winning book, “If You Could Be Anything,What Would You Be?” For more information on raising and directing your teens for a successful future visit http://www.youcouldbeanything.com.
The method know as three dimensional ultrasound is used when a woman is in early pregnancy, it provides 3d images of the unborn baby. Most of the time these ultrasound pictures are quickly collected and combined to produce a 4d ultrasound scan.
Three dimensional scans works in the same manner to the usual ultrasound methods except that the ultrasound pulses can be sent from multiple directions. The ultrasound pulses are reflected back then captured to provide info to construct a 3 d picture in in a similar manner to 3d movies. 3 dimesional ultasound scanning was devised by olaf ramm abs stephen smith.
It is important to understand that sonologists everywhere have always conjured 3d pictures of anatomy or pathology in their minds while doing 2d scans. However, until recently it was very difficult to do this kind of reconstruction on patient data acquired using ultrasound. With the advent of 4d baby scans for the first time allowed us a peek into the brain of a sonologist and so allowing us see the images on the ultrasound machine.
3d imaging should utilize ultrasound energy following the same limits as conventional 2d ultrasound to create the 3d images. There is no data to suggest any harm due to 3d ultrasound, its use in none essential situations needs to be undertaken with the understanding of the risks.
Like most parents, I try to do everything to get my children ready for school each year: Register them, pay fees, buy school supplies and new clothes, check out their new classroom, and talk with them about how much fun the upcoming school year will be. It seems like we should be all set - except for my usual worries about how good of a “homework coach” I will be during the year, trying to help my children be successful in school and enjoy life-long learning.
As parents, we often approach our children’s school performance and school success with anxiety and tension. We want our children to succeed so they feel happy about their accomplishments and have better opportunities in the future. But we also have the nagging feeling that if our child doesn’t do well in school, it will reflect poorly on us as parents. We feel pressured to make sure they DO succeed. Often, with the best of intentions, we end up using exactly the wrong strategies:
Nagging and Lecturing
Parents usually don’t start nagging children about homework and study habits until there is a problem (e.g., being sloppy with homework, or not wanting to do homework at all). Nagging only makes the problem worse because your child will either get angry at you or tune you out. Instead, try to problem-solve together with your child. Ask them to come up with several ideas on their own for how to improve this situation. Brainstorm about how to make homework more fun. Try out at least one of their ideas and discuss how it worked.
Taking Over
You don’t trust your child to get things done right, so you tell them what to do, when and how. This may work in the short run but doesn’t teach children to become independent learners who take responsibility for their work. Instead of taking over, help your child figure out what they need to do by asking questions: “What will you do? When will you do it? How will I know? How do you want me to hold you accountable for this?”
Focusing on the Future Benefits of School
As parents, we know how important a good education will be later in life. Just don’t expect your children to be motivated by this idea; they are more focused on the here and now and give little thought to the future. To motivate them, focus on the immediate benefits of learning (having fun, developing new skills, and ability to play team sports in school if grades are good.)
Leaving Homework for the End of the Day
If homework is scheduled too late in the evening, with only bedtime to follow and no time to play, children won’t be motivated to be efficient, and also won’t want to go to bed since they haven’t had any fun yet. Increase your children’s motivation to complete homework by giving them something to look forward to afterwards. Favorite TV shows, videogames, talking on the phone, or having a special snack are all great rewards after homework is completed, and may provide the extra incentive your child needs to get through a boring and tedious task.
Insisting on Long Study Sessions
“You will sit here until all your homework is done” - this can feel overwhelming to children and create resistance, resulting in conflict. Instead, schedule 10-15 minutes of study time, followed by a 5-min. break, then another 15 minutes of study. Repeat as often as necessary to complete homework. Children actually get more done that way.
Grounding Children for Missed Assignments and Poor Grades
This is not effective for helping them do better in the future. Instead, use problem solving (”What would help you do better next time?”), offer support, and give them incentives for good performance (extra privileges, special rewards).
Not Communicating With Teachers
This means two-way communication: Let the teacher know early on how they can best support your child’s learning (how does your child learn best?) -then ask the teacher periodically, “What’s the best thing I can do to help my child with this subject at home?” Don’t wait until parent-teacher conferences to find out how your child is doing, or what kinds of problems need to be corrected.
Overfocusing on Grades and Test Scores
When children get the message that grades are all that counts, they quickly lose interest in the process of discovery and learning, and instead focus only on the outcome. If they can’t achieve the expected grade or score, they end up feeling bad which usually does not increase their motivation to do better. Children also need to hear from us that success comes in many forms. Some students will excel in sports, drama, music, or art; some develop excellent leadership skills, good citizenship, become peer mediators, or relate well to animals. Whatever your child’s strengths are, be sure you focus on those talents more than you focus on their grades.
Sticking Only to the Curriculum
As long as children learn what’s expected of them in school, that’s good enough, right? Chances are that this year’s school curriculum doesn’t exactly match his or her own interests and curiosity (maybe they are into whales and sharks, space travel, jungle life, airplanes, etc). Encourage children’s natural love for learning by asking, “If you could learn about anything you wanted to, what would you like to learn?” - then provide them with books, videos, trips to museums, and (most importantly) adult conversations about those topics.
Not Modeling Life-Long Learning
Do your children see you interested and enthusiastic about learning, studying, and achieving? Do you read books at home? Go to museums? Look things up? Talk about new ideas? Remember that our children are always watching what we are doing.
Dr. Karin Suesser, PhD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin (http://www.dollandassociates.com). She provides therapy and assessment for children (ages 1-18) and their families, as well as for adults and couples. She specializes in helping individuals find effective solutions to emotional, behavioral, or life transition concerns. Her areas of expertise include anxiety issues, ADHD, aggressive and disruptive behaviors, depression, trauma and abuse issues, academic/career concerns, parenting issues, relationship and sexual issues. She also provides professional coaching to individuals to help them achieve their goals, enhance their performance, and live a more deeply meaningful life.
Is it possible to be using our children addictively?
Anything that we use to get love, avoid pain, and fill up inner emptiness can become an addiction - even our children! If your children are your whole life - if you don’t have a strong spiritual connection with a personal source of love and guidance, as well as other relationships and interests that you are passionate about, you might be using your children to fill an empty place within you.
If you don’t have a partner or your relationship with your partner is not fulfilling to you, and you don’t have deeply connected and meaningful friendships, then you might be using your kids as your major emotional connection. If you don’t have hobbies or work that are compelling and fulfilling to you, you might be using your children to give meaning to your life. If you don’t have a daily spiritual practice that brings love and comfort to your soul, you might be using your children to fill this need.
If this is what you are doing, it is not good for your children. It is a huge burden on children to be responsible for their parent’s loneliness and sense of purpose. Children who feel this responsibility often become caretakers, giving themselves up to take care of a parent. On the other hand, a child burdened with this responsibility may rebel and distance from the parent, spending less and less time at home to avoid the burden of the parent’s emptiness.
I grew up as an only child with a mother who had nothing fulfilling in her life - other than me. Her whole focus was on me, and because I couldn’t possibly fill her up in the way she needed to be filled, she was often angry at me. I became a good little girl, a good caretaker of my mother, but the result was that I was a nervous and unhappy child, and wanted to be away from my house as much as possible.
Our children need to be a part of our life, not our whole life. We need to role-model for them what it looks like to take personal responsibility for filling ourselves up. We need to show them what it looks like to take responsibility for making ourselves happy, rather than rely on them for our happiness. Your children want to know that they are important to you, but not so important that your well-being is dependent upon them. You might want to explore the following questions to see if you may be using your children addictively:
* Do you have a solid spiritual practice that fills you with a sense of peace and gives meaning to your life?
* Are you expressing your particular talents in a way that feels meaningful and productive to you and gives you a sense of fulfillment?
* Do you have fulfilling emotional connections with other adults - a partner, other family members or friends?
If you answered “yes” to these, then you are probably not using your children addictively.
* Do you feel bored and useless when your children are not around? Is it your children that give your life meaning?
* Is your sense of worth attached to your children’s achievements? Do you tend to take it personally if one of your children has a problem?
* Are you over-involved in your children’s lives?
* Are you overly sensitive if one of our children is angry or distant? Do you find yourself trying to pacify your children rather than set appropriate limits in order to avoid their rejection?
* Did you choose to have children to share the fullness of your love or did you have children in the hopes of getting love from them?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of these, then there is a good possibility that you are using your children addictively. If this is the case, the best thing you can do for you and your children is to move yourself toward a solid spiritual practice, look for meaningful ways of expressing your talents, and develop emotional connection and support from other adults.
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.
If you have a baby, breastfeeding is definitely the best way to feed. It has numerous advantages over bottle feeding and hardly any disadvantages. Over 1 million babies die each year as a result of being fed formula!
Breast milk provides the perfect nutrients that your baby needs and even protects them from illnesses. Studies have found that infants who were breast fed have much lower rates of ear infections, rashes, diarrhea, allergies, hospital admissions and other medical problems than babies that were fed formula.
Infant formula is made from cow’s milk but the problem with this is that it contains a different type of protein than human milk does and also doesn’t contain the right nutrients that babies need. Human infants have trouble digesting this protein and as a result they are usually much fatter than breast fed babies. Human milk has at least 100 ingredients that aren’t found in formula.
When a mother breastfeeds her child, her antibodies are also transferred to the baby. This protects the baby from diseases and illnesses such as pneumonia, bronchitis, botulism, influenza, staphylococcal infections, measles and ear infections. Around eighty percent of the cells in breast milk are cells that kill viruses, bacteria and fungi!
Unlike bottle feeding, breastfeeding makes the mother cuddle her baby closely numerous times each day. The infant will get a sense of security from this and will form a better attachment with the mother. Nursing is a source of comfort and warmth to a baby.
Also, if you breastfeed, you won’t need to buy expensive formulas. When your baby starts crying you won’t have to go warm up a bottle because the food is ready all the time. Breastfeeding even uses up calories in the mother which makes it much easier to lose weight after pregnancy.
There are some cases in which you should not breastfeed. If you are HIV positive, you should not nurse your baby because this virus can pass through the milk. Some other illnesses that can be transmitted to your baby are hepatitis, herpes and beta streptococcus infections. If you have one of these illnesses talk to your doctor before breastfeeding.
If you are going to breastfeed, you should be aware that is can be painful when you first start doing it. Also, your nipples may get sore, cracked, or engorged. You will need to nurse regularly or your breasts will get very uncomfortable because of being so full. You will be much more tied to your baby than a mother that feeds formula.
Once you have your baby, you should breastfeed as soon as possible, preferably within an hour of delivery. You won’t be producing milk yet then but you will have colostrums which is a fluid that contains antibodies to diseases. Newborn babies need to be nursed at least every two hours. Once they get older they will settle into a more regular schedule.
If you are a new parent you will certainly want to give your baby the best you can. Breast milk is how you can do this. It contains everything your baby needs and will make him much happier and healthier.
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Michael Russell |
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